Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Then I got ready for work.

I'm sitting at one of two long tables in my uncle Allen's house, or a Library. Either way, we're on top of a hill. I glance out the window behind me and I can see fire and heat on the horizon. I know it's only a matter of time before it reaches us and every thing's over. The table I'm sitting at is in conversation while the other table is holding hands in prayer. Someone stands up from my table in a panic and rushes over to a book shelf by me. He's searching through books and finally finds what he's looking for. I guess he hid an array of drugs, just in case. He passes me a small vile of morphine which I immediately take as a shot but everyone else is smoking theirs? Then I'm passed a bowl with weed mixed into duck. I pass. I need fresh air. Outside, I decide to call my parents. The phone's ringing...

Then I woke up. Shit. I didn't know what to make of this dream/nightmare. I've never had an end of the world dream before. You know what, I would call it a nightmare because I was scared. What I felt was fear. Fear of the end. Fear of not being with the ones I love or even being able to talk to them. I wanted to go back to sleep but I didn't want the nightmare to continue.

I'm in a city but the streets are empty. No cars. No pedestrians. My cousin Alan is down the street taking pictures of a family. My other cousin Wendy is sitting at a table counting money or doing something business related. And I'm working. There's two tables outside and there are customers there. Two people I recognize from the tasting room. She orders a walk the dog (four three ounce tasters of four of our beers). I try to convince her to order just a glass of beer because I really don't want to pour four beers. She won't budge. To make it better he orders a walk the dog as well. I'm pissed. All of a sudden there are a bunch people in the streets. Mostly I see kids and inmates wearing orange jump suits. They're playing four-square. I walk up to Wendy and say, "I quit." She looks stunned. I tell her to turn around and look at everyone and what's happening. "Let's get out of here. Let's leave." Then Brandon's here. He grabs Wendy's hand and says that he's taking us away. We're in his car going over an over-pass and to our right we can see the fire and heat is a lot closer. To our left is the traffic jammed freeway. There's no hope. I try to call my parents while I still can, but realize it might be too late where they are and my stomach drops. The phone's ringing...and ringing...

Then I woke up, again. Ugh, the nightmare had continued. It made my whole day weird. But I think it means something, or at least part of it does.

Writing this out actually made this nightmare less epic to me. I kinda just want to delete the whole thing. What a waste of a waste of time.

1 comment:

  1. So, I have read this post a few times and have analyzed it the best I can.
    Clearly, you have been stressed, considering all that has gone on while in Portland. You have a strong sense of family and currently live in another state than they do. Work is, well, work and you are not fulfilled by your current position. With all this shit going on around you and festering in your mind, it makes total sense to why you had such a bizarre dream/nightmare.
    So on the up and up, you are an intelligent, cool chic and should realize this. It is easy to let all the crap in but we need to filter it so we can stay sane and maintain!
    Be good!